Have some hot garbage
/As promised, I will now inflict upon you my writing process.
Here’s why: The biggest problem creative people face is the fear of doing it wrong. We start a drawing or a short story or a song and are suddenly horrified to find that the first thing we commit to the so-called Real World does not look like the hopeful thing we had in our head before we started.
And even if that first attempt is pretty good, there inevitably comes the moment when we see no path forward. The pencil goes awry; a sentence just lies there, grossly; the chorus just sounds derivative.
So we lay it aside and never return to it — or we just never start because we know it’s all going to turn to drek at some point.
Lichtenbergians know, of course, that the solution for drek is MOAR DREK. As we say in the Invocation:
Free us from our capabilities,
and strew our paths with bad ideas,
so many that we cannot help but stumble
upon a good one every now and then.
The best way to have a good idea is to have a lot of ideas, right? So when Lichtenbergianism for Kids started bugging me that it needed to be TOTALLY REWRITTEN, KENNETH, I took a look at the opening pages. It needed to be more immediately appealing to my AUDIENCE (which we’ll talk about next week).
I grabbed a new WASTE BOOK, and scribbled some notes to myself, and then: ABORTIVE ATTEMPT. Just label it drek, and then create drek.
Turn the page. Write ABORTIVE ATTEMPT at the top, create more drek.
Repeat as necessary.
And now, in order to show you that I am as bad at this as you are, here are my three ABORTIVE ATTEMPTS at rewriting the opening of Lichtenbergianism for Kids.
ABORTIVE ATTEMPT 1
Hi!
I’m not going to get too chummy and try to talk to you like I’m your best friend — I hate books like that and I imagine you’re the same.
Nor am I going to talk to you as if you’re a child, because I know you hate that. (I know that because I was a teacher for 35 years.)
What I will do is explain my ideas in ways that will make sense to you.
ABORTIVE ATTEMPT 2
Hi!
Why are you reading this book?
I am guessing it’s because you’re the kid who likes to write stories, or poetry, or blogs; or who paints and draws or makes comic books or zines; or who likes to act or sing or dance; or who likes playing music or even writing music; or who writes their own apps or programs.
Or maybe you do all of them.
The point is, you like to create, and the title of this book called to you — or to someone who thought you’d like it.
ABORTIVE ATTEMPT 3
Hi!
Are you the weird kid?
Are you the one who [see previous attempt]
Of course you are! That’s why you picked this book up — or why someone gave it to you.
But…
You have doubts. You’re not sure of what you’re doing. Every time you start a project, it never goes right.
Or you just start a project and never get around to finishing it.
Or you just never start it at all.
You start to wonder:
Am I really creative?
That’s enough for today. I’ll give an analysis of what went on in the writing of these three ABORTIVE ATTEMPTS on Monday.
In the meantime, stop surfing my website and create MOAR DREK of your own. (Really: what project popped into your head when you read that? That’s where you start.)
