Of fat bears and being human

above: Otis (Sr) in his office; Otis is the Grand Champion of Fat Bear Week 2021

The mother bear and her two large subadult cubs stand at the edge of the river. They sniff the air, scout the area. It’s late in the season, so the river is not crowded with other bears hunting for salmon.

Suddenly one of the cubs rushes four or five yards into the river and pounces, presumably on a fish. He is unsuccessful, though, and he returns to the bank to stand next to his mother.

After a moment, she wades into the water, followed by her nearly-grown cubs. They move more slowly, more deliberately.

Then the cub again races four or five yards and pounces — and once again comes up empty. He moves over to a more placid area closer to the bank.

But that’s not what we saw, is it? Here’s what we saw:

Clothilde and her two cubs, Sam and Otis, Jr, arrive at the river bank.

“Remember what I told you last time,” she says. “You have to be patient and OTIS JR WHAT DID I JUST SAY?”

But Otis Jr has already raced into the river.

“I got one I got one I…” his sentence goes unfinished as he plunges his face into the water. He comes up empty. He looks sheepishly back at his mother.

“Mhm. What did I tell you? Get back over here, now!”

Otis Jr pads his way through the water back to his mother. He climbs onto the bank and stands obediently by her side.

“Okay, now gently out into the river. Got that, Otis Jr?”

“Yes, ma’am.” They move out.

But Otis Jr sees a flash of silver in the water and cannot stop himself. He plunges after it, splashing water everywhere, and pounces — but to no avail. He misses again.

“Aw man!” he whines, and he shuffles away from his mom and brother to hide his embarrassment.

Here’s my point: I can safely bet any amount of money you choose that a human watching the live feed of Katmai National Park’s Brooks Falls Brown Bears narrates what they see there. They may not say it out loud or as in much detail as my scenario, but they will create a persona for the bear and will project onto the bear an inner dialogue.

How can I be so sure? We are humans, and humans are storytellers. We narrate everything. Random groupings of stars in the sky? Pfft — that’s Orion, who you know was a hunter with whom the goddess Artemis fell in love etc etc.

Does your cat talk to you? Can you tell what your dog is thinking? Does your coffeemaker say “good morning” to you? (Mine does; it’s weird.) Do you wonder what the man walking down the sidewalk with the babystroller’s story is?

Yes, you do. Because you’re human.